What have I truly lost or given up in order to be of service to Himself?
Control? Well, I don't want it to begin with so it's no loss to give up something I don't want anyway. In fact, I'm quite grateful he wants it and knows what to do with it. Then I think about the word control. He decides who, what, where, when, why and how. Basic journalism type stuff. ;) No. I haven't given it up. It's more like donating an old couch to the Salvation Army. You just don't want it any more, so give it to someone who can put it to good use. It's no loss though, that's for sure.
Power? The source of power is continual for me. It's not given in any event, it's taken, but as it's constantly renewed within my being, I am never depleted of its energy. So I can't say that I've given up power either. It would be easier to say I've given away the sun. It's not something anyone can do. It will Supernova and die a natural death in its own time.
I haven't given up time either, because there are still twenty-four hours in a day. He does direct my time, which is an aspect of the control, but he can't make there be twenty-five hours in a day no matter what desires or wishes he may have.
I haven't given up strength, intellect, wit, love, experience, family, humor, personal responsibility, wisdom, honor, integrity, hope, dreams, ambition, passion, history, enthusiasm, compassion or life.
I am not less but more because of our relationship. I have not even had to give up the darkness which I love so well. What I have lost is so overwhelmed by what I have gained as his slave, and yet the more I think on it, the more I realize, I have truly lost only those things that I do not wish to have nor embrace. Fear, insecurity, jealousy. Things which make me better for being without them.
I haven't even lost my freedom, because until I was bound by him, I had no clue as to what freedom truly meant. I lived so long in a cage of my own making that there never seemed another existence other than that which I had always known.
One of the definitions of freedom is "the absence of slave status."
By being his slave, I am no longer a slave.
Labels, the inferior definitions of terms, no longer apply. Well, perhaps one does. I'm one hell of a fortunate woman, and I'm comfortable with that being all the definition required.
I am his and I am owned and because of that, I am everything.
What, if anything, have you lost because of your submission or slavery?
Comment by RBG, 10/8/10
Thank you for adding the article about what you can gain, instead of what you
lose by choosing submission. I have been grappling with certain feelings lately,
also trying to decide what is the right course of action for myself. I have been
talking with someone whom I could very much foresee myself with long term, and he
seems serious enough to want something more than superficial. In many ways, I
have started considering him "my Dom" already, and for the most part I know he's
serious about me. He says he eventually wants an exclusive relationship, though
we're still going through the getting to know you phase, but it's already been
past a month, so I'm very hopeful of long term planning.
Anyway, reading some of the articles on this website has been a blessing in
disguise for me. It helps me not to feel so alone. I liked some of the hidden
humor to be found at key points which was clever, yet there was alot of heart and soul
in the writing as well. I wish I could write something as eloquent. I've only
read a few things on the website, but I just wanted to say how much of a
pleasure it's been to read up on topics that I am well-versed on myself,
but sometimes continued self-reflection can have its rewards. And, it doesn't
hurt to think that there are like-minded people with similar struggles and both
positive and negative experiences. It may sound cliché, but it's nice to not
always feel so alone in submission. I think the greatest tragedy is when a
person has to be alone with their journey. I really think it takes a dominant
and submissive in order for the puzzle pieces to fit together as a whole piece.
Please continue to write more articles and examine further topics. Perhaps, if
my writing ever improved, maybe one day I might like to submit an article as
well... but it probably wouldn't be anytime soon (not until I really thought
about if I had something worthwhile to say that would translate and make
coherent sense on the page).
